


Unmasked

by elysianblaine



Category: Glee
Genre: Blaine Anderson-centric, Blangst, Early Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, M/M, Other, Sad with a Happy Ending, author is projecting on blaine oopsie, autistic blaine!!!!, sam is also autistic, spoiler alert: autistic blam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25453060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysianblaine/pseuds/elysianblaine
Summary: aka; glimpses at some times that Blaine masked his autism, and one time he didn't.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	Unmasked

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!! this is my first oneshot so please be nice :)  
> also; i am autistic!! and a lot of blaine's behaviours are my own, and a lot of his 6 year old self is honestly just me as a 6 year old!!
> 
> if anyone wants me to kinda make a little series of autistic!blam/blaine/sam n their experiences then please let me know!! <3 
> 
> thank you for reading,  
> \- lils

Masked: 6 years old  
Blaine was 6 years old when he first realised he was different. Mom and dad had known for a little while longer though, and mom said it made him special. Dad, however, told him to stop it. Stop being different and be like every other 6 year old, Blaine Devon. So that’s what Blaine did. He spoke when he was supposed to (or at least attempted to.), he tried not to hum or flap his arms, he tried to stay calm whenever family members or family friends hugged him, he tried not to ‘throw a tantrum’ as his dad called it. He tried. 

For a while, he thought he did pretty well at trying to be like everyone else. No other kids his age really noticed he was different, they just thought he was a little strange, but not massively different from them. Sure, he didn’t really have many friends (or any, for that matter) and he much preferred to play alone, if he played at all. Sure, he couldn’t really carry on a conversation without talking about superheroes and going off on a tangent. Sure, at every parent-teacher conference he’d attended thus far, his teachers told his parents that he was a pleasure to teach but was overly obsessive and panicked far too much for such a little boy. Sure, the smell or texture or taste of certain things made him inconsolably upset - but that was normal, right? He was trying to be normal. He was trying to be good. 

Masked: Sadie Hawkins  
“Honey, are you sure?” Pam Anderson fretted. It was the night of Westerville High Schools annual Sadie Hawkins dance, and Blaine was going - with a boy. Blaine had recently come out to his parents, and his mom took it really well, saying that she loved and supported him no matter what. His dad, however, was the complete opposite. As soon as the words “I think I’m gay.” came out of Blaines mouth, Thomas Anderson snarled at his son and shook his head,  
“No son of mine is a faggot. You’re 14, Blaine Devon, how do you know? You’ve never had a girlfriend, or a boyfriend for that matter!”. Needless to say - He didn’t take it well. Nevertheless, Blaine was who he was, and his dad’s bigotry wasn’t going to force him back into the closet - ever. 

Blaine straightened his tie, a small smile gracing his face,  
“I’ll be fine, mom, I promise! If I thought it would be too much, then I wouldn’t go.”. The truth was - Blaine knew it would probably be really overwhelming. He knew there would be a lot of noise and bright lights. Still, he wanted to feel like a normal teenager. He didn’t want to feel held back.  
His mom sighed,  
“I’ll pick you up at 11, but if you feel overwhelmed just call me!”. Blaine nodded, glancing down at his phone and reading the text he’d just received from the boy he was going with,  
“James is outside, mom, I’m gonna get going.”

Pam pulled her son into a quick hug before he left, giving her a small wave. He was so excited for this dance, so excited to feel more like any other kid his age. Still, she couldn’t help but feel scared for her boy, she knew he tried his best to blend in with all the other kids. What if he went into overload? Oh god what if kids are homophobic? She took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry. This was going to be the longest night of her life.  
Upon entering the crowded gymnasium, Blaine couldn’t help but cringe at the noise. There was so much going on all at once, and sure maybe he’d anticipated this, but anticipating something and being in said situation are two completely different things. James squeezed his hand,  
“You okay?”. All Blaine could do was nod,  
“Yeah, ‘m fine. Totally fine.” James didn’t know Blaine had autism. Blaine hadn’t told him, afraid that James would look at him differently. Blaine didn’t want to screw up whatever chance he had with him.

As the night progressed, both Blaine and James were weary of holding hands and getting too close with each other. Both boys were afraid - they lived in Ohio for fucks sake. Being out and gay was one thing, but actually being seen with a boy in a somewhat romantic way was even worse. However, that aside, Blaine had actually managed to have a pretty good night. Sure, he was overwhelmed and would definitely pay the price tomorrow by having absolutely no energy to even function, but he decided that tonight - it was okay.

It was verging on 11pm, almost time for Pam to pick the boys up, so both boys decided it would be best to wait outside.  
“I, uhm, I had a really nice time tonight” Blaine said, briefly glancing at James before returning his focus to the sky to look at the stars. Space (more specifically, stars)was his current special interest, having been since he was 10. He knew that most of the stars that were visible at night were predominantly main sequence stars, and if he squinted he could see Orion and The Little Dipper. He’d already seen them before, many many times, but whenever he saw a constellation he’d write it down in his constellations notebook so he could keep track of them.  
“Me too, we should do something again!” James replied, causing Blaine to smile and reply with a small “Okay.”

“Hey nancy boys! You really didn’t think you could get away with being fags in public, did you?”  
Suddenly, Blaine couldn’t see the stars anymore.

Masked: Starting at Dalton Academy  
“I think that’s everything, Blainey.” Pam confirmed, sitting next to her son on the bed in his new dorm room. After what the Anderson family had dubbed as ‘The Incident’ had occurred that left Blaine scarred physically and mentally, both Pam and Thomas Anderson swiftly pulled him out of Westerville High. He wasn’t safe there. The Andersons decided to enroll Blaine at Dalton Academy, an all-boys private school with a zero-tolerance harassment policy and an excellent student support department. It took Blaine a while to convince his parents, mainly his mom, to let him board at Dalton, but she finally gave in and allowed him too, on the condition that he would let her know if he was struggling at any point and that if things became too much then he would come home and just be a day student.

She placed a hand on her son’s knee,  
“You nervous?”  
Blaine sighed,  
“A little, trying not to think about it that much though. I just hope my roommate is nice enough.”  
Pam glanced at the desk on Blaine’s side, noticing the box he used as his sensory box was resting on top. When Blaine noticed what she was staring at, he shot up from the edge of the bed to pick the box up and store it at the bottom of his closet. He didn’t want to keep it out in the open in case his roommate was nosey and decided to snoop through it. He didn’t want his roommate to know about his….condition, at least not right away. Pam gazed at her son with tears in her eyes,  
“You can’t hide it forever, Blaine.” Blaine shook his head,  
“I can and I will if I have too. I don’t want to give people more reasons to dislike me.”

Pam stayed a little while longer before reluctantly saying goodbye to Blaine, who was anxiously waiting for his roommate to arrive. His first day of classes was the following day, and the boy who he was rooming with apparently shared most of his classes. Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted as he heard the dorm room door creak open, revealing a boy about his height,  
“Oh, you must be Blaine. My names Trent!” Trent beamed. He seemed nice, Blaine thought, really nice.  
“Yeah, uh, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you.” Blaine replied, briefly making eye contact with Trent before looking away. Eye contact sucked, and Blaine whoever decided that it was socially correct stood on Lego bricks. 

“Sorry, I’m a little bit late, I had Warbler practice.” Trent said, causing Blaine’s eyebrows to furrow,  
“Aren’t they birds?” His reply earning a small laugh from the other boy,  
“No, silly! The Warblers are Dalton's acapella show choir! Do you sing?”  
“Yeah, I guess I do.” Blaine hummed. Truth be told, Blaine sang a lot. He excelled at music from a very early age. Piano, guitar, singing - Blaine was really good. Music was a lifeline for him, never failing to calm him down. Trent gasped,  
“Oh my god! You have to try out tomorrow, please Blaine? We practice everyday at the same time in the senior commons!” The raven haired boy wrung his hands nervously, taken aback by the insistence in Trent’s voice,  
“O-okay. I guess.”

And that’s how Blaine joined the warblers.

Masked: Meeting Kurt  
To say that Blaine was excited was an understatement. The Warblers were performing in the senior commons today, they had just finished an amazing rendition of Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. It was all Blaine could focus on, and had consumed his thoughts for the past few weeks. It was literally all he thought about (well, apart from space.), so much so that it had kept him up at night and made him forget things. His mom said this was him hyperfixating yet again, but he vehemently disagreed! He was simply really emotionally invested in this performance and The Warblers as a whole. For the first time in his life, he really truly felt like he had a group of friends who somewhat understood him. They made him feel welcomed and they listened to him. Blaine liked that.  
The bell signalling the end of class rang, and Blaine practically ran out of the classroom, veins thrumming with excitement. He was making his way to the senior commons when a voice stopped him,  
“Uhm, Excuse me!” The voice began. It was soft and gentle, with an intrigued tone to it. Blaine turned around and saw an unfamiliar boy (who, may he add, was not in uniform! How had he not been dress-coded yet?),  
“Hi, can I ask you a question? I-I’m new here.” The boy began, Blaine’s eyes focusing on the boy’s hair instead of his eyes as he replied,  
“My name’s Blaine.” The smaller of the two’s hand out in front of him for the new boy to shake. From an early age, Blaine was taught to shake peoples hand when you first meet them, apparently it was polite or something. All Blaine knew was that it made him wildly uncomfortable, but if this boy was really new then he at least wanted to try and make a good impression. Maybe he was on a tour? 

Much to Blaine's luck, the boy shook his hand and smiled.  
“Kurt,” He began, “So what exactly is going on?” Ah. New boy is confused by the hustle and bustle going on around him. Blaine’s eyes sparkled,  
“The Warblers! Every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior commons, tend’s to shut the school down for a while.” he effused, before promptly stopping himself. He didn’t want to infodump on Kurt, they weren’t even acquaintances. He was still a stranger. Blaine liked him already though, he seemed really nice. Kurt looked confused,  
“So wait, the glee club here is kinda cool?”

Blaine was practically bouncing on his heels,  
“The Warblers are like rockstars!” he babbled, taking Kurt by the hand yet again (seriously, he needed to stop doing that. That was the second time in less than 2 minutes!), “C’mon, I know a shortcut!”. As he practically dragged Kurt down one of the quieter hallways, Blaine couldn’t help but hope that he could become friends with Kurt.

Unmasked: Meeting Sam.  
School had been rough so far that day, and anything that could have gone wrong did. First there was a substitute during 2nd period, which meant total chaos in what was usually a peaceful class, and then at 4th period, Blaine's AP world history teacher decided to spring a surprise test upon the class. Not to mention, everything was just too loud in general. He wanted to go home as soon as possible so he could go to his room and put on his playlist saved only for the times he felt himself teetering on the edge of a sensory overload to a total meltdown. He wanted to be alone in his safe space. The only thing standing between him and the ability to reach a place of total serenity was Glee. He couldn't skip it, no, skipping it meant fucking up his routine for the 100th time that day and he really didnt want to do that; so he'd go to Glee Club, go through the motions and leave school as soon as possible.

Blaine reached the choir room at exactly 3:30, right on schedule and sat next to Kurt, who could tell that his boyfriend was struggling. Kurt knew that he probably didn't have the energy for small talk, he knew Blaine like the back of his hand and he definitely knew when Blaine was struggling,  
"Are you okay? Do you need to take a breather?" Kurt whispered, concern lacing his voice. Blaines gaze stayed fixed on the floor,  
"I'm okay."  
The taller of the two boys sighed,  
"If you need to, y'know, stim or anything - just do it. You're safe here, nobody will judge you for it. You don't need to hide from anyone."  
Blaine shook his head, briefly glancing at Kurt before attempting to focus on the whiteboard where Mr Schue was about to begin that week's lesson.

Glee club was going disastrously, the feeling of the inevitable meltdown that Blaine was going to have was unshakable. Nevertheless, he tried (emphasis on tried) to act like there was nothing wrong as the club figured out what songs they would perform at regionals. He tried to think of ideas, tried to help but he just couldn’t focus. He couldn’t think. Blaine could feel himself getting worked up and agitated and without thinking, found himself rocking in his chair slightly as his hands flapped by his side. Fuck. Now he’d really stepped in it. Quickly, he ceased rocking in his chair and his hands came to a stand still. His eyes did a quick scan of the room, hoping nobody noticed, and for the most part - they didn’t, except for Sam. The blonde boy was staring at him with an inquisitive look on his face and a small smile. Blaine hoped to God, Buddah, Whoever, that this didn’t negatively impact Sam’s opinion on him, especially after what had happened two weeks previous (seriously, Blaine thought, why did you say that to him? Did you want him to hate you as soon as he first came back to Mckinley?).  
Finally, 4:30 rolled around and it couldn’t have come any quicker. Blaine swiftly grabbed his bag and was the first person to leave the choir room. He needed to get home. He rushed away from the rest of his friends and headed for the quieter exit of the school, which just so happened to be the long way to his car. However, the sound of footsteps quickly approaching him from behind brought him to a halt,  
“Hey, Blaine, wait up!” It was Sam. Taking a deep breath, Blaine turned around to face the blonde boy and braced himself for the inevitable slurs that would be thrown his way.  
“I, uh, I saw you rocking in your chair and the way you, uh, kinda flapped your hands.” Sam began, glancing between Blaine and the floor. He didn’t miss the terrified look on Blaine’s face.  
“If you’re here to insult me or beat me up, please just get it over with so we can act like none of this ever happened and move on” Blaine whispered, shifting from one foot to the other. Sam’s eyes went wide and an expression that Blaine couldn’t quite make out painted his face. Shock? Confusion? Blaine didn’t know. 

“Dude, no no, none of that! God I wouldn’t do that, that...that’s awful, no way. I came to tell you that I get it.” Sam began, and if Blaine was confused before, then he was totally baffled now.  
“Are you Autistic?” Sam blurted out. Now it was Blaine’s turn to look like a deer caught in headlights. The smaller of the two went to reply but was cut off by Sam, who was now smiling,  
“It’s okay! I am too! You don’t need to, like, hide it or deal with it alone. I totally get it.”

Relief washed over Blaine like a tidal wave, maybe...just maybe he wasn’t as alone as he thought.


End file.
